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#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




I was just teasing," I say. "I myself don't like to eat plain butter, but hey, it's a free world. ↗


— Lauren Myracle


#free #humor #world #humor

Old Flossie settle down on the other side of What-the-Dickens and dragged some handiwork out of a sack. She armed herself with two thorns shaped into knitting needles. A wodge of curlicued metallic scrubbing pad supplied the threat. 'I knit handcuffs as a hobby,' explained Old Flossie happily, and set to work. 'Idle hands get up to no good, so I like to be prepared in case I meet up with any idle hands. ↗


— Gregory Maguire


#knitting #humor

Beth from accounting is just sitting in her car eating spaghetti. ↗


— Ryan Mecum


#humor #zombies #humor

The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole. ↗


— David Sedaris


#christmas #humor #santa #humor

It's hard to take sex ed seriously when the teachers haven't even wiggled their stuff in this millennium. ↗


— Amber Kizer


#humor

I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window. "Hey lady," he said. "Sounds like you got a fartmobile." I flipped him an Italian goodwill gesture and pulled the ball cap low on my forehead. (Three to get Deadly) ↗


— Janet Evanovich


#stephanie-plum #humor

This was a vagrant of sixty-five, who was going to prison for not playing the flute; or, in other words, for begging in the streets, and doing noting for his livelihood. In the next cell, was another man, who was going to the same prison for hawking tin saucepans without a licence; thereby doing something for his living, in defiance of the Stamp-office. ↗


— Charles Dickens


#irony #humor

You must master the vices. You know that if a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well. If, however, a thing is not worth doing then it's worth doing fabulously, amazingly, with grace, style and panache. ↗


— Isla Dewar


#humor #humour #vice #humor

I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse. ↗


— Michael Ian Black


#humor

Just because I don't deserve her doesn't mean I won't fight to keep her. ↗


— Elizabeth Hoyt


#love #humor






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