#hum

Never start a fight with your hands in your pockets. Unless you’re instigating with an armless man.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fight #funny #humor #instigate #food

Holy effing moly. ↗

— Ellen Hopkins

#humor

You bite the hand that feeds, Speedy said. Humans don't like that. They view it as a sign of ingratitude. I never asked anyone to feed me. That doesn't seem to matter to them. ↗

— Patrick Jennings

#ethics #food #humans #pets #food

I think this goat must have been fed on old boots,' Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew. ↗

— Carl Sargent

#fantasy #food #humour #stubble #zagor

The aristocrats had to force them to do their jobs. After all, human beings are not badgers. We aren't molded to stoop. ↗

— Andrew Rimas Evan D.G. Fraser

#humans #labor #food

Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people? ↗

— Mari Donne

#food

Life sure is easier when you're rich." "And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part." "How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only thing we have in common. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #natural-born-charmer #romance #susan-elizabeth-phillips #humor

I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #funny #homeless #humor #nonsense

Chef don't judge. ↗

— Chef Boyardee

#chef-boyardee #humor #food

I can honestly say, with complete disappointment, that I have never purged in my life, because I have what I call a barfing disorder. Every time I puke, even when I’m sick with the flu or from food poisoning, I think I’m going to die. Weird, I know. No disrespect to you, Mary Kate. Rock on. ↗

— Kathy Griffin

#humor #puking #food