#hum

Fang: 'Man, You weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?' Max: 'Why, is your head missing some? ↗

— James Patterson

#mamimum #maximum-ride #ride #rock #experience

I knew this would happen," Marla says. "You're such a flake. You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor #love #pages- #love

Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?” “That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.” “What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #realization #sarcasm #sebastian #valentine-morgenstern

We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#life #value #worth #death

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #sarcasm #death

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #life #death

Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fame #harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death

For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#books #dogs #friends #humor #humor