#hum

If sex were food, Rhage would haven been morbidly obese. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#food

Don't run I never liked fast food ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #vampires #food

I still love him so much I'll hide any amount of conjugated estrogen in his food. So much I'll do anything to destroy him. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#love #food

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #family #funny #humor #life

YOU. GOT. FOOD. IN. MY. HAIR. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#food

Simon shook his head."Look,do you know what you want to eat,or do you just want me to keep pushing this cart up and down aisles because it amuses you?" "That and I'm not really familiar with what they sell in mundane grocery stores.Maryse usually cooks or we order in food."said Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#food

Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corruption #democrats #funny #government #humor

He was chugging brown pop from a can Jack had handed him while he stuffed nacho cheese Doritos in his face. I was glad to see he looked lots better, almost completely like himself, which proves Doritos and brown pop really are health foods. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#food #humor #soda #food

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? ↗

— Steven Wright

#food

Food," I suggested. "Sleep. That's what I need. To get the hell away from here." Cole frowned at me, as if I'd suggested "ducks" and "yoga". ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#ducks #forever #humor #isabel-culpeper #sleep