#hum

We began to butterfly kiss, which is when you touch your eyelashes to the other person's skin. I was going to respect Edwart's desire to wait, and he was going to respect my desire for winged creatures. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#humor

Don't talk for five minutes, there's a good chap! I've a strange feeling come over me--almost as if I were going to think! ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#humour #humor

I deciced if I were ever to get into booze and women, my line would be, 'Excuse me, madam, but I would really love to bed and muss you. . . . Are you perchance free this evening? ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#humor #romance #teen #humor

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

But if there's one thing I've learned in life it's this: assume makes an ass out of 'u' and 'me ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor

I never understood why you would ever feel the need to shoot the fish in the barrel. I mean, they're in a barrel, you've already caught them. The hard work's done, they can't escape. So if you want them dead, just drain the water out. Why bring guns into it? ↗

— Craig Silvey

#humor #redundancy #humor

Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #wuthering-heights #humor

Outside the hospital the war was still going on. Men went mad and were rewarded with medals. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

Let me know when you're ready to talk." She stopped and glanced at them both over her shoulder. "Maybe then I'd be ready to discuss your sexual twists and my own little abnormal desires. You never know what we all might learn that we haven't already." With that, she turned and moved back into the house, closing the door behind her and disappearing out of sight. And Cam found his back slammed against the side of Ian's Hummer, his brother in his face. Lust and irritation flared in his brother's eyes. "You better start talking," he grated. "Because you know what she just did?" "She just dared us, Cam. And I don't know about you, but the thought of 'abnormal desires' dancing through her mind is going to drive me fucking crazy. Now, fix it. ↗

— Lora Leigh

#humor #humor

Kinzie smiled smugly. “You admire our base of operations? Yes, our distribution system is worldwide. It took many years and most of our fortune to build. Now, finally, we’re turning a profit. The mortals don’t realize they are funding the Amazon kingdom. Soon, we’ll be richer than any mortal nation. Then—when the weak mortals depend on us for everything—the revolution will begin!” “What are you going to do?” Frank grumbled. “Cancel free shipping? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#amazons #frank-zhang #humor #kinzie #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians