#hum

She crushed it, telling herself she was going to add Big in front of her Idiot tattoo. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#dark-hunter #funny #nhumour #funny

Every other girl in school thinks you're the hottest thing since the microwave. ↗

— Linda Kage

#humour #funny

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd

Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!" The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#funny #humor #monster #sarcasm #funny

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt. ↗

— Karen Miller

#funny #humor #funny

Strawberries are so red they make me feel 33% patriotic. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate :) ↗

— Pablo

#funny #funny

Cut the crap and tell me what color panties you’re wearing. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#funny

Caroline stamped her foot in frustration, but when it landed, it landed on something considerably less flat than the floor. "Owww!" he yelled. Oh! His foot!Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry , she mouthed.I didn't mean it. "If you think I can understand that," he growled, "you're crazier than I'd originally thought. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #funny