#hum

I robbed them, and I killed them as cold as ice, and I would do it again, and I know I would kill another person because I've hated humans for a long time. ↗

— Aileen Wuornos

#another #because #cold #hated #humans

Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. ↗

— Doug Coupland

#brain #eighty #everything #face #face value

An abundant supply of excellent water, forming a volume equal in bulk to the human body, is conveyed by one of these pipes, and distributed about the city, where it is used by the inhabitants for drink and other purposes. ↗

— Hernando Cortes

#abundant #body #bulk #city #conveyed

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#allow #back #beings #children #come

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#because #funny #future #god #hope

I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ambitious #delusional #funny #hard-work #humor

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase. ↗

— George Carlin

#funny #humor #peace #funny

I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dancing #funny #greed #greedy #humor

Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#garden #humor #romance #romantic #roses

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #funny