#hum

Nothing great is ever accomplished by following standards. ↗

— Geoffroy Birtz

#humour #science #humor

He shivered. His coat was thin, and it was obvious he would not get his kiss, which he found puzzling. The manly heroes of the penny dreadfuls and shilling novels never had these problems getting kissed. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#novels #humor

Push me and I will. I’ll get punished, but you’ll still be dead. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

When I asked my shrink if I was a control freak, he finished saying “Absolutely” before I finished saying “freak.” I told him that I once worked with a woman who carried a remote control in her purse. Whenever she got worried or angry, she took it out and stroked it like a gerbil. My shrink said that if I keep comparing myself to severe neurotics, I’ll think that anything is permissible. ↗

— Erika Krouse

#humor

You are well aware of your effect on women, and I'm sure it gratifies you no end to watch them sigh and salivate over your magnificent physique. I do not wish to spoil your fun, Dain, but I do ask you to consider my pride and refrain from embarrassing me in public." Women...sighing and salivating...over his magnificent physique. Maybe the brutal bedding had destroyed a part of her brain. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

I can't stop thinking about how much better she'd be for him than I am. But I also kind of want to tear her hair out. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#humor #humor

I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

I think it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone famous to come from here, because everyone around here is insane. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

That scent she threw off was not anything by Chanel. Unless they’d recently added a Tragedy line. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #humor

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #threats #what-the-hell #humor