#hum

You silly Arthur! If you knew anything about...anything, which you don't, you would know that I adore you. Everyone in London knows it except you. It is a public scandal the way I adore you. I have been going about for the last six months telling the whole of society that I adore you. I wonder you consent to have anything to say to me. I have no character left at all. At least, I feel so happy that I am quite sure I have no character left at all. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#marriage #humor

There is nothing more luxurious than eating while you read - unless it be reading while you eat. Amabel did both: they are not the same thing, as you will see if you think the matter over. ↗

— E. Nesbit

#reading #humor

I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#parody #humor

He started every entry with I got up. It meant, I hate this school. When he wrote I do not like porridge, that was actually true, but porridge was his code-word for Simon Silverson. Simon was porridge at breakfast, potatoes at lunch, and bread at tea. All the other other he hated had code-words too. Dan Smith was cornflakes, cabbage, and butter. Theresa was milk. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#humor

I do not think you are in any danger of starving," Maximus said. "The surgeon said only two weeks ago that you are too fat." "The devil!" Berkley said indignantly, sitting up; and Maximus snorted in amusement at having provoked him. ↗

— Naomi Novik

#dragon #fat #humor #humor

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek? — A very lost Marcus Brody ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor

The THE TABLOIDS are always going to be a war for POPULARITY in the CELEB world. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #story #humor

I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor