#hum

Teaching middle school is an adventure not a job. ↗

— Angela K. Bennett

#middle-school #school #teach #teens #humor

But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #mystery-novels #humor

I know exactly how strong he is... He is like a peacock, spreading his feathers and squawking loudly to distract you from the back that his body is but weak." -Jason to Mahiya ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

Reality was one step out of line, a cardigan with the buttons done up wrong. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#humor #humor

Cartooning will destroy you; it will break your heart. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#depression #humor #humor

It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#hogfather #humor #terry-pratchett #humor

I look at him. "It's odious," he says. "Detention?" I ask, confused. "Huh?" We have no idea what the other is talking about. "What's odious?" I ask. "O.D.S," he says, pointing to his discman and obviously referring to some dropkick band. Like I really care. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor

I`d love to sell out completely. It`s just that nobody has been willing to buy. ↗

— John Waters

#humor

You show me what someone listens to, I’ll tell you everything you want to know about his soul. (For instance, a bunch of Nickelback albums would have indicated he never had a soul in the first place.) ↗

— Tad Williams

#music #nickelback #soul #humor

Is this bitch crazy? I don't want to 'accidentally' drown ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor