#hum

Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens. ↗

— Cracked.com

#humour #science #science

He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#myths #prometheus #zeus #humor

We need to talk to you," said Carrot. "Do you want a lawyer?" "No, I ate already." "You *eat* lawyers?" said Carrot. "Brick gave him an empty stare until sufficient brain had been mustered. "What d'y'call dem fings, dey kinda crumble when you eat dem?" he ventured. Carrot looked at Detritus and Angua, to see if there was going to be any help there. "*Could* be lawyers," he conceded. "Dey go soggy if you dips 'em in somfing," said Brick, as if undertaking a forensic examination. "More likely to be biscuits, then?" Carrot suggested. "Could be. Inna packet wi' all paper on. Yeah, bisuits. ↗

— Terry Pratchett Thud

#humor #lawyers #science-fiction #humor

If you've done 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? ↗

— Douglas Adams

#science #science

The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor #humor

science devises ever bloodier means of war until humanity’s powers of destruction overcome our powers of creation and our civilisation drives itself to extinction. ↗

— David Mitchell

#science #war #science

Leela: Why are we listening to them? It is a waste of time. The Doctor; It is difficult to know what will be a waste of time until after the time has been wasted, by which time it is too late. So predicting what will be a waste of time is something of a waste of time. Unless it gives you pleasure of course when it probably doesn't count as a waste of time. Leela (yawning): I am sorry I did not hear what you said, Doctor. The Doctor (smiling): That was a waste of time then. ↗

— Chris Boucher

#humor #science-fiction #science

Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#sarcasm #humor

One should preach not from one's rational mind but rather from the heart. Only that which is from the heart can touch another heart. One must never attack or oppose anyone. If he who preaches must tell people to keep away from a certain kind of evil, he must do so meekly and humbly, with fear of God. ↗

— Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

#eastern-orthodoxy #fear-of-god #humility #meekness #preaching

People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#practicality #proverbs #wise