#hum

I had officially joined the cacophony of sick mother fuckers. ↗

— Betsy Lerner

#mental-illness #food

I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humor #food

Don't fret. We'll just have to find something else you're good at besides killing people. ↗

— Clare B. Dunkle

#humor

I go where the lizards tell me. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#humor

For desert, maybe we can split a couple of crumbs. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#humor #skinny #food

But I don't understand God. I don't understand how he could see the way people treat one another, and not chalk up the whole human race as a bad idea. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#grave-peril #harry-dresden #human-race #harry-dresden

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work. ↗

— Calvin Trillin

#inspirational #humor

Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themselves.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#deception #funny #hermaphrodites #humor #lie

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave. ↗

— Michelle M. Pillow

#cat #feeding #food #houseguest #humor