#hum

I had a dream about you. You don’t need to thank me for taking you into consideration. But I do expect you to return the favor. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I left for the country club, you the mountain top, knowing that at our reunion one would fall. When golf clubs fence with skis, both summer and winter are painted red. In the contact sports of the wealthy, the seasons are no longer impersonal forces. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. It was wet, but not lucid. So I couldn’t control my spraying hose. I think it means we shouldn’t join the fire department together. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I sat at your table of brotherhood and asked why you invited so many strangers. You laughed and passed me the bread bowl. But the guest in-between us took the last roll before it reached me. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We made love like mannequins, and afterwards we laid in bed, exhausted and extinguished, which was indistinguishable from our insatiable sexual congress—and also identical to the way Congress goes about fucking us.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I guess humans like to watch a little destruction. Sand castles, houses of cards, that's where they begin. Their great skills is their capacity to escalate. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#humanity #destruction

If [his] peace of mind depended on me promising to be a sweet and careful little girl, he'd be smart to get used to chaos. ↗

— Sharon Green

#domination #humor #dreams

There was no way I was knocking on his door when I made my pizza or beans. No way in hell. In fact, I was moving the first chance I could get. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#dreams

My, my, aren't we upper class and therefore faultlessly grammatical. ↗

— Sharon Green

#humor #dreams