#hum

We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #relationships #sex

По гръбнака й преминаха парливи тръпки. (...) Винаги нещо й подсказваше да се пази от тази чувственост. Ала какво трябваше да пази сега? Една унизена гордост, едно оскърбено честолюбие, една стъпкана любов. ↗

— Димитър Димов

#love #pain #борис #гордост #димитър

I Didn't Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted) ↗

— Doug Jensen

#humor #old-age #senior-citizen #age

I can remember hearing one middle-aged man who sat nearby saying 'Simmer down, boyo' to another older man seated kitty-corner to me across the doorway to one of the hallways extending out from the waiting area, except when I looked up from the book both these men were staring straight ahead, expressionless, with no sign of anyone needing to 'simmer down' in any conceivable way. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#age

...Her parents were going to a conference for the weekend. The conference was called "Lawyers are Lovely, Great and Superb: so Why Does Everyone Think that They are Liars, Greedy and Scum?" and Mr Thomson was doing a speech called "Ten Tips to Make Lawyers as Popular as Doctors. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#lawyers #love

There were pecans, there were cashews and then there was just plain nuts. ↗

— Mary Hughes

#crazy #humor #humorous-quote #nuts #love

A few weeks ago he said to me, completely ou of nowhere, 'You good friend to me, Liss. Loyal friend.' Then he sighed, stared off into space and added mournfully, ' Not like Sharon.' Who the hell is Sharon? What did she do to him? When I tried asking him about it, he would give me no answer. Acted suddenly like he didn't know who I was even referring to. As if I were the one who'd brought up that thieving hussy Sharon in the first place.) ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#love

I love Lamp. ↗

— Brick

#love

What's happened is somewhere, along the line, as a society, we confused the notion of 'home' with the possibility of 'an investment opportunity'. What kind of creature wants to live in an 'investment opportunity'? Only man. The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity. Mmm, snuggled down in the lovely credit! All warm, in the mortgage payment, mmmmm... ↗

— Stewart Lee

#gfc #humour #love

For I'll keep my humanity, though I did not keep my promises. ... and Love shall not be wrested from my veins. ↗

— Susan Abulhawa

#humanity-and-society #love #love