#humor

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#humor

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #humor

What are you talking about?" Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this." "Amazing at pure suck," Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#narcissistic #narcissus #suck #humor

Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence and nothing too much. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#humor

I can't go on, I'll go on. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#drama #existentialism #fiction #humor #nihilism

Maybe he thinks he can rescue me? No one is that stupid. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #vampire #humor

Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#quidditch #humor

If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #humor

I am Dead, but it's not so bad. I've learned to live with it. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#humor #paradox #humor

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#giving #greed #greedy #humor #receive