#humor

Surely you’re not going to practice discretion now? ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#mythical #humor

Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#librarians #humor

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer ↗

— Bill Hicks

#media-journalism #society #thinking #humor

I pressed PLAY and started up Chiron's favorite--the All-Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin. Suddenly the air was filled with violins and a bunch of guys moaning in Italian. The demon pigeons went nuts. They started flying in circles, running into each other like they wanted to bash their own brains out. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #pigeons #humor

This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don't touch me—oh, god! ↗

— John Green

#humor #john-green #squirrels #humor

Wisdom you speak, Obi Tina.' 'None of that - I'm the one who gets to speak backwards - no, we're both wrong - that's the little green guy, Yoda.' 'You're right. So I just get to pout and act badly when you try and teach me anything.' 'Try channelling Luke rather than Annakin - the outcome is better. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sky #humor

Did television execs have souls? Now, that was an existential question and a half. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

What's the point of using words nobody knows or can say comfortably? ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#humor

The fact that Gene Simmon's son is a manga-ka disturbs me more than whether he's really copying or not. ↗

— Tite Kubo

#humor