#humor

I always carry a spoon in my pocket. You know, just in case it rains.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #pocket #preparation #prepared #rain

Life with the Guru - there is no manual. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

Out of love for mankind, and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by a genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I conceived it as my task to create difficulties everywhere. ↗

— Søren Kierkegaard

#life #philosophy #humor

Forgive me....I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comebacks #funny #humor #humorous #silly

Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of … piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she’s ripe? ↗

— Tessa Dare

#sarcasm #forgiveness

I'd been preparing myself to apologize. Forgive and forget, as Mom says. "Fuck you," I said. ↗

— Tara Kelly

#forgiveness

One thing I have always been is too short. It's adorable when you're in junior high. After that, it's a pain in the ass for the rest of your life. ↗

— Elizabeth Berg

#humor #small #stature #humor

Dealing with jackasses on every front today. Good thing I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. (Charlie Sheen Reference) ↗

— Greg Campbell

#dealing-with-people #everyday-life #fighting #humor #stupid-people

I'd rather have rabies than be in love." "Why?" "Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor-relationships #funny

Free your mind from routine, keep your brain somewhere else ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humor #humour #philosophy #wisdom #freedom