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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.
 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#clueless #funny #humor #love #age

Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs. ↗


— Bauvard


#funny #humor #suburban #urban #funny

Why think about tomorrow today, when you don’t even know if there will be a tomorrow, or if there is, if you’ll be there tomorrow? ↗


— Art Hochberg


#inspirational #art

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casius oh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace ↗


— D.D. Barant


#humor #scarcasm #anger

The most dangerous thing of all, and something he wanted to warn me about above all else, the one thing that had consigned whole regiments of unfortunate young people to the twilight world of insanity, was reading books. This objectionable practice had increased among the younger generation, and Dad was more pleased than the could say to not that I had not yet displayed any such tendencies. Lunatic asylums were overflowing with folk who'd been reading too much. Once upon a time they'd been just like you and me, physically strong, straightforward, cheerful, and well balanced. Then they'd started reading. Most often by chance. A bout of flu perhaps, with a few days in bed. An attractive book cover that had aroused some curiosity. And suddenly the bad habit had taken hold. The first book had led to another. Then another, and another, all links in a chain that led straight down into the eternal night of mental illness. It was impossible to stop. It was worse than drugs. It might just be possible, if you were very careful, to look at the occasional book that could teach you something, such as encyclopedias or repair manuals. The most dangerous kind of book was fiction-- that's where all the brooding was sparked and encouraged. Damnit all! Addictive and risky products like that should only be available in state-regulated monopoly stores, rationed and sold only to those with a license, and mature in age. ↗


— Mikael Niemi


#humor #reading #sweden #age

I don't know it is that I always feel that other people can create things but that I can't. I imagine it's simpler living in remote tribes or communities where one is obliged to have a go or else you have to do without. I suppose it is fear of failure in an age where political correctness is trying to erase the word 'failure' from the language. It's OK to fail isn't it, but only if you've tried? What is so bizarre is that when one does try, one rarely falls short. Obviously some people do things better than others but if it gives you pleasure, then so what? As my grandmother used to say, 'patience and perseverance made a bishop of his reverence!' So don't say you can't make candles or soap or that you can't spin or weave until you've tried it. As for mending, well, if you're not throwing everything away, then you have no option but to make do and mend. After all, the only way to get rid of shopping malls and supermarkets with their food miles is for people not to shop in those places and the way to cure this mercenary mercantile world is to make your own things. ↗


— Clarissa Dickson Wright


#green #humor #living #truth #age

Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#humor #point #utensil #funny

She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#humor #spoon #funny

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. "Nuh-uh. Mine." "Share!" she demanded. "Man, you are one grabby girlfriend." She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part. "If you love me, you'll give me a taco." "Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?" "Not for a taco," she said. "I'm not cheap." "They're brisket tacos." "Now you're talking. ↗


— Rachel Caine


#funny #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin #shane-collins

I can only assume," said Jace, "that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own. ↗


— Cassandra Clare


#insult #jace-wayland #humor






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