#humor

Probably no purer incitement to hatred existed, Lydia had found, than being told of anyone or anything: you will love him, her or it. The spirit immediately rose up like a fanged cobra. ↗

— Jude Morgan

#humor #love #love

I love fortune readings! because when I get in troubles, if the reading says that I am in a lucky day, I can think my troubles are just some kind of mistakes, and if the reading says that I am in the unlucky day, I can think that my troubles are just because of my bad luck. Either ways, I can know the reason of my troubles. ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#fortune-telling #funny #horoscope #humorous #life

Really! But weren't you fearfully tempted?' 'In the abstract but not in the concrete,' said Ursula. 'When it comes to the point, one isn't even tempted—oh, if I were tempted, I'd marry like a shot. I'm only tempted NOT to.' The faces of both sisters suddenly lit up with amusement. ↗

— D.H. Lawrence

#love

He leans forward and his mouth brushes briefly against mine, and I feel... nothing. I was hoping our first kiss would trigger all sorts of memories or sensations, maybe a sudden image of Paris or our wedding, or our first snog. But as he draws away I feel totally, one hundred percent blank. I can see the anticipation in Eric's face and quickly search for something encouraging to say. "That was lovely! Very..." I trail off, unable to think of a single word other than quick, which I'm not sure hits the right note. "It didn't bring back any memories?" Eric is studying my face. "Well...no," I say apologetically. "But, I mean, that doesn't mean it wasn't really... I mean it was... I feel quite turned on!" The words come out before I can stop them. What the hell did I say that for? I don't feel turned on. "Really?" Eric lights up and he puts his briefcase down. Oh no. No no no. Nooo. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#love

So what are you doing around here?" I ask, feeling all jittery, but this time it's in a good way. "Oh, I was just in the area." he says vaguely. "I thought I'd take Welly for a walk..." He trails off and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Those butterflies are going crazy in there. ↗

— Alexandra Potter

#falling-in-love #humor #love #love

One of my recurring D-list moments is when people stop me in the airport and tell me they loved me on SNL. I never know if they think I’m Molly Shannon, Cheri Oteri, or Chris Kattan. I just say “Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed me as Mango. ↗

— Kathy Griffin

#humor #saturday-night-live #snl #love

Distribute love among your dear one's it's the only one motto of life. ↗

— prashanth padal

#love

I love you like my own sister. Which is why I won't hesitate to tell you that I don't believe it. ↗

— Emma Bull

#humor #love

First, the weather got hotter every day, and the hay press broke down every day. Second, the boss fell in love with Marian Wray, and the hay press broke down every day. Third, inside of forty-eight hours everybody on that crew hated everybody else, and the hay press broke down every day. Fourth, and most important of all, the hay press broke down every day. ↗

— Max Brand

#western #love

We piled aboard the small chopper and after a bit of map pointing to the pilot we lifted off. "I love the RAF," said Jed. "I love them too, sir," said I. After a short flight the chopper landed. We all got out and waved our thanks and farewells to the crew and Major Jenner checked his map. After a quick examination he announced that we had been dropped in the wrong place. "I fucking hate the RAF," said Jed. "I fucking hate them too, sir," said I. ↗

— Ken Lukowiak

#humor #paratroopers #raf #soldiers #war