#humor

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek? — A very lost Marcus Brody ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor

The THE TABLOIDS are always going to be a war for POPULARITY in the CELEB world. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #story #humor

I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor

I'm so ready you could drive a truck straight up my ass and I would bend over and push back until it was in to the rear bumper. ↗

— Cameron Dane

#sex #humor

On the ground, Cash gave a signal, and all the guys lined up by the pool. In unison, they stripped off their shirts and tossed them onto the grass. An audible sigh- like the ones you hear on a sitcom that is "filmed in front of a live studio audience"- filled the room. It was almost funny, really. Such a strong reaction to a bunch of shirtless boys. ↗

— Kody Keplinger

#funny

Bring the luggage in, Thomas,” Lucian ordered with a frown as he approached the front. “What about the girl?” Thomas asked with irritation. “That’s what I meant.” Lucian stepped through the open front doors of the house. ↗

— Lynsay Sands

#humor

A perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life. ↗

— Mary Randolph Cartier

#humor

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor