#humor

Home was his favorite place too. But home for him was anywhere Jane happened to be. Never in his life had he loved someone as much as he loved her. So much that it scared him sometimes. He pulled her against him and looked out over the city. He was in love with his wife. Yeah, he knew what that said about him. That he was a goner. Leg-shackled for life. Whipped by a short woman with a big attitude. Yep, that's what it said about him, and he didn't care. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance #see-jane-score #attitude

Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#bed #clarity #funny #humor #life

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana. ↗

— Betty White

#humor #age

You know, as you get older... your body ages." -- Chris Pirillo ↗

— Chris Pirillo

#age

Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy Starr instead. ↗

— Marie Clair

#age

Being an author of a book is like being a mother of a debutante in the Middle Ages. You have to present your baby to society and provide her with dowry, and in your heart, you hope that some royalty spends a night with her and ensures her way to success. ↗

— Elvira Baryakina

#age

I am certain you are not one of those dreary fellows one reads of who demands that their lady friends be in possession of a maidenhead. Mine was taken by a marrow two years ago.” “A marrow, Miss Pertwee? The vegetable that the Italians call il zucchine?” “The very same.A most particularly bold and impetuous hot-house marrow. It was quite the ravishment, I can assure you.” “I consider it no dishonor at all to be preceded by so noble a vegetable. ↗

— Vinnie Tesla

#vegetables #virginity #age

She looks like a very young old person, or a very old young person; but then, she's looked that way ever since she was two. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor #age

You could have heard a bee fluff ↗

— S.W. Lothian

#humorous #middle-age #age

By gad, is that you, Ainswood? I haven't seen you in a dog's age. How's the gout? Still troubling you? ↗

— Loretta Chase

#lydia #vere #age