#humor

Delk shifted in his chair, the arrow point never wavering. "What do you want?" "Oh, the usual.World peace, a pair of Christian Louboton heels, a perfect wedding. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#inspirational #motivating #humor

You go Picasso! ↗

— Sarah Weeks

#humor-inspirational #humor

And that's what I don't like about magic, Captain. 'cos it's *magic*. You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #magic #science-fiction #humor

Throughout life try to remember...to always keep your head up high and your middle finger higher! ↗

— Timothy Pina

#humor

Taking responsibility takes all the joy out of life, and drains a man to dust. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#humor

The next week she withheld my paycheck until I signed a document (drafted by David) in which I promised not to marry Connor. Ever. I signed the document, took the check, and had David draft another document forbidding all Spellmans to practice any form of blackmail. David tried to explain to me that a contract in which you promise not to break the law is ultimately redundant, but I didn't care. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#humor

There’s no winning arguments with your parents, so why get all pumped up over them? It is way better to dive down and get out of the way than it is to get clobbered by some parental tidal wave. ↗

— Wendelin Van Draanen

#parents #humor

Those are brave men," he told Ser Balon in admiration. "Let's go kill them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #humor

I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it; knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor

No one is born a dancer. You have to want it more than anything. ↗

— Mikhail Baryshnikov

#humor #inspirational #humor