#humor

Death is too inevitable not to defy, life too fearful and uncertain to embrace. ↗

I don't use airplane bathrooms. As a rule. And I really don't like breaking rules. (It's kind of one of my rules.) I mean, if I'm going to plummet to my death, it's not going to be with my pants around my ankles. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#humor #death

When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance."- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#death

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#death-and-dying #humor #humorous #humorous-quotations #internet

My new 9mm didn’t fit my hand as well as my old one, but it was rapidly becoming a familiar weight. At first I’d decided it was okay to wear as long as I shot only at supernatural bad guys who were already shooting at me. Lately, I’d had to broaden that definition to anytime my life was in danger. I was currently leaning toward a slightly more comprehensive rule somewhere between proactive self-defense and the-bastards-had-it-coming, which, if I survived long enough, I intended to blame on my deranged partner rubbing off on me. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #humor

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. ↗

— Bauvard

#execution #funny #humor #death

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing. ↗

— Scott Adams

#timing #age

Not all. Some of them he probably lectured to death. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#true #death

I don't know whether to be proud or appalled that danger, blood and death inspire you so. ↗