#humor

The priest then turning toward the bride, inquired: "Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, etc., etc., so long as ye both shall live?" To which the bride, throwing aside her veil, answered, firmly: "No! Not if he were the last man and I the last woman on the face of the earth and the human race was about to become extinct and the angel of Gabriel came down from above to ask it of me as a personal favor." The effect of this outburst, this revelation, this explosion, may be imagined but can never be adequately described. ↗

— E.D.E.N. Southworth

#reversal #wedding #imagination

As you proceed through life, following your own path, birds will shit on you. Don't bother to brush it off. Getting a comedic view of your situation gives you spiritual distance. Having a sense of humor saves you. ↗

— Joseph Campbell

#humor

Buy or borrow self-improvement books, but don't read them. Stack them around your bedroom and use them as places to rest bowls of cookies. Watch exercise shows on television, but don't do the exercises. Practice believing that the benefit lies in imagining yourself doing the exercises. Don't power walk. Saunter slowly in the sun, eating chocolate, and carry a blanket so you can take a nap. ↗

— S.A.R.K.

#inspirational #self-acceptance #humor

Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you. ↗

— Salman Aditya

#humorous-quotations #inspirational #humor

You cannot take away freedom to protect it, you cannot destroy the free market to save it, and you cannot uphold freedom of speech by silencing those with whom you disagree. To take rights away to defend them or to spend your way out of debt defies common sense. ↗

— Glenn Beck

#political #freedom

he had never known such gallantry as the gallantry of Scarlett O'Hara going forth to conquer the world in her mother's velvet curtains and the tail feathers of a rooster. ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#humor

Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#inspirational #writing #humor

Earth is sad, Moon is shy, Sun is happy but wait a moment, I just forgot to tell you that I am the child of open sky. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#inspirational #love #nature #humor

Some of us go full circle. Some of us blindly go nowhere. The circle doesn’t have to be very large to make a point, kick your ass and/or be entertaining. Remember that and stay light. Even the deaf know good music when they hear it. ↗

— Jason Mraz

#inspirational #life #music #truth #humor

I'm not going to die, I'm going home like a shooting star. ↗

— Sojourner Truth

#inspirational #humor