#humor

If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate. ↗

— Taylor Swift

#humor #inspirational #people #song #song-writing

We don't have to be defined by the things we did or didn't do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it's a regret, maybe it's not. It's merely something that happened. Get over it. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#inspirational-life #thoughtfulness #humor

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. ↗

— Will Rogers

#humor #inertia #inspirational #humor

I am no king, and I am no lord, And I am no soldier at-arms," said he. "I'm none but a harper, and a very poor harper, That am come hither to wed with ye." "If you were a lord, you should be my lord, And the same if you were a thief," said she. "And if you are a harper, you shall be my harper, For it makes no matter to me, to me, For it makes no matter to me." "But what if it prove that I am no harper? That I lied for your love most monstrously?" "Why, then I'll teach you to play and sing, For I dearly love a good harp," said she. ↗

— Peter S. Beagle

#humor #inspirational #love #lyrics #poe

Everything stinks till it’s finished. ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#inspirational #humor

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#inspirational #humor

To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#inspirational #love #truth #humor

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#inspirational #love #simile #tree #trust

As you proceed through life, following your own path, birds will shit on you. Don't bother to brush it off. Getting a comedic view of your situation gives you spiritual distance. Having a sense of humor saves you. ↗

— Joseph Campbell

#humor

Buy or borrow self-improvement books, but don't read them. Stack them around your bedroom and use them as places to rest bowls of cookies. Watch exercise shows on television, but don't do the exercises. Practice believing that the benefit lies in imagining yourself doing the exercises. Don't power walk. Saunter slowly in the sun, eating chocolate, and carry a blanket so you can take a nap. ↗

— S.A.R.K.

#inspirational #self-acceptance #humor