#humor

I've loved him for a decade. And I had him for one day before I made a complete and utter mess of things. Or he did. I'm still not sure about that. ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#romance #humor

All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor #stars #war #humor

Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you tell me why.” “Because I’m a man. I’ve got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys.” Darren was laughing over the phone now, and it made Reece grin. “And Ben isn’t a prince, he’s a cop. A big, sexy cop who fucks like a machine. He’s a man. I’m a man. We’re men.” He nodded sharply. “Now fuck off. I’m arranging flowers. ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#humor

My backup plan is to challenge Bearbreaker to single combat, defeat him, become Queen of the Zerkers and spend the rest of my life riding a giant motorcycle over frozen tundra. ↗

— D.D. Barant

#humor

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#irony #humor

In his old life, the answer would have been easy: He'd have just put a gun to Vin's head and dragged the fucker to the altar. Now? He needed to be a little more civilized. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#jim-heron #marriage #vin #humor

God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn’t know, that wasn’t taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line. ↗

— Kody Keplinger

#turn-on #humor

It was time to let my freak flag fly. ↗

— Derrolyn Anderson

#humor

she walked rather quickly; she liked to be active, though at times she gave an impression of repose that was at once static and evocative. This was because she knew few words and believed in none, and in the world she was rather silent, contributing just her share of urbane humor with a precision that approached meagreness. But at the moment when strangers tended to grow uncomfortable in the presence of this economy she would seize the topic and rush off with it, feverishly surprised with herself--then bring it back and relinquish it abruptly, almost timidly, like an obedient retriever, having been adequate and something more. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#silence #silent #timid #words #humor

Wait until you see my socratic method, baby. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor