#humor

The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight with the females?" "How about you get off my dick? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#business

Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now."Edit ↗

— Joss Whedon

#inspirational #beauty

How good one feels when one is full -- how satisfied with ourselves and with the world! People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#business

(Da) "Sorry, Son, what was that? I was too busy ignoring you." (Later) "Sorry, Son, I missed that," Ma said. "Ignoring you can be a full-time job. ↗

— Brian Farrey

#humor #parenting #business

Happiness is a tricky business. It may not have as much to do with doing as it has to do with not doing. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

But , Mr. Knightley, are you perfectly sure that she has absolutely and downright accepted him? I could suppose she might in time, but can she already? Did not you misunderstand him? You were both talking of other things; of business, shows of cattle, or new drills; and might not you, in the confusion of so many subjects, mistake him? It was not Harriet's hand that he was certain of- it was the dimensions of some famous ox. ↗

— Jane Austen

#business

How come I have too many things to do all the time...?? ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#funny #humorous #time #business

Those who are good with their noses must come in the front with us lions to smell out where the battle is. Look lively and sort yourselves" And with a great deal of bustle and cheering they did. The most pleased of the lot was the other lion who kept running about everywhere pretending to be very busy but really in order to say to everyone he met, "Did you hear what he said? Us Lions. That means him and me. Us Lions. That's what I like about Aslan. No side, no stand-off-ishness. Us Lions. That meant him and me." At least he went on saying this till Aslan had loaded him up with three dwarfs, one dryad, two rabbits, and a hedgehog. That steadied him a bit. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#funny #humor #business

A girl can still admire, can’t she? Even those who can’t afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right? Knowing he wasn’t for me didn’t mean I couldn’t covet the merchandise. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#humor #love #male-beauty #romance #sex-appeal