#humor

It’s alright, Kitten,” Bones said. “He won’t shoot.” Tate lowered his gun, even as the sudden dizziness from blood-loss made me sway. Bones took my gun and casually handed it to Juan, who gapped at him in amazement. “You called her Kitten? And she let you? She put me in a coma for three days when I called her that. My balls never recovered from her smashing them into my spine.” “And well she should have,” Bones agreed. “She’s mine. Kitten, and no one else’s. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor

♪Kyo-kun and Tohru sitting in a tree... K-I-S...♪ - Shigure Sohma ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me. ↗

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

#humor #slander #humor

I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#jason-grace #humor

This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#witty #humor

Like I'm going to pass up an opportunity to smack your cousin. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#tod #humor

Alexia figured, delightedly, that this meant he did, in fact, tend to traipse around his private apartments in the altogether. Marriage was becoming more and more of an attractive prospect. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#marriage #nudity #soulless #humor

Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. “Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

You'll start talking, and pretty soon we'll all start nodding, and then the next thing you know, I'm hang gliding off the Eiffel Tower at night, being chased by ninja vampires ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#humor