#humor

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#making-do #humor

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#imogen-herondale #impudence #jace-wayland #obedience #rebelliousness

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh. ↗

— Maya Angelou

#sense-of-humor #humor

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jocelyn-fray #simon-lewis #humor

You forget, darling. I am the local psychopath. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor

If you want some advice—which I'm sure you don't—you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're moving in on Lissa." "What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Doesn't he know my heart belongs to you?" "It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him." "You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better." "If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#love #threats #humor

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor