#humor

So, technically," Simon said, "even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#simon-lewis #humor

Brick could be the codename for Rick B. But why the need for secrecy? If I told you I’d have to blanket you.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Yes, it's your fault I'm alive. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#life-or-death #savior #death

William slapped him on the shoulder, sending Sex into rapturous convulsions. “Before we do this, I’ve got one question for you. And you can’t lie. This is too important.” A bit sick to his stomach at what such a debaucher could want to know, Paris cast his attention to the black-haired, blue-eyed he-devil. “Ask.” “Are you going to suggest I kiss you for good luck or strength or whatever it is your sex demon needs?” That earned the warrior a two-fingered salute. “So that’s a no?” William asked. Paris worked his jaw. “Here, let me help you off the cliff to the drawbridge.” With no more warning, he shoved William over the ledge. He thought he heard a fading, “ So not cool,” from the bastard as he fell…fell… Splat. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #humor

We're making a list." "And checking it twice." Edward shook his head. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor

My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm. ↗

— Mike Tyson

#humor

I don't know what it is about the french language, it seems to be scared of coming out of the mouth so it comes out the nose instead. ↗

— P.D.Q. Bach

#humor #humor

A brick is something solid, stable, and yet edgy. In other words, it’s everything a politician isn’t.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to describe somebody hard and inflexible, and a blanket could be used to describe somebody warm and easygoing.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A real scientist solves problems, not wails that they are unsolvable. ↗