#humor

This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #jason-grace #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. ↗

— Steve Martin

#humor #writing #humor

Well then," Roen said briskly, "are you sleeping?" "Yes." "Come now. A mother can tell when her son lies. Are you eating?" "No," Brigan said gravely. "I've not eaten in two months. It's a hunger strike to protest the spring flooding in the south." "Gracious," Roen said, reaching for the fruit bowl. "Have an apple, dear. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#humor

You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word. ↗

— Andrew Jackson

#intelligence #spelling #humor

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#ago #committed #had #i #long

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#avoiding #evasive #fear #funny #humor

You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?" "Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #ya #humor

A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#fashion #feminism #gender #humor #sexy