#humor

Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#relationships #humor

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right. ↗

— Brian Andreas

#relationships #story-people #humor

Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life. ↗

— Mary Ann Shaffer

#humor #on-fiction #humor

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor

Ooh..I want one" - Bex They're not puppies." -Cammie ↗

— Ally Carter

#humor

Citizen's arrest," he said. "Well, that, and Patch told me to. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record. ↗

— James Patterson

#maximum-ride #nudge #humor

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #toilet #humor

Chocolate is God's apology for brocolli ↗

— Richard Paul Evans

#humor