#humor

oro?! ↗

— Nobuhiro Watsuki

#humor

The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't. ↗

— John Green

#looking-for-alaska #humor

The only vampires I've ever seen are the Goths trying to get a glimpse of Anne Rice's house, who drink strawberry sodas and tell each other it's blood. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#nick-gautier #humor

What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humor

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure I'll hold out until Halloween." "That's already passed." "Exactly," I muttered ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Burn you, Nerim, that's a leg not a bloody side of beef!' 'As my lord says,' Nerim murmured. 'My lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my lord, for instructing me. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#humor #jordan #mat #nerim #rand

Jef-f, Dun-Ham, dot com!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#jeff-dunham #humor

I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the fact that you knew about this before I did." "Don't be disappointed," Jack said. "The fact that I've been ridiculously proud of you for days doesn't change how excited you should be about this. Besides, I pretty much know everything. You should probably just start getting used to it." "And on that note, I'm hanging up," Cameron said. "Rushing me off so you can call Collin next?" Jack teased. "No" she said emphatically. Damn, he really did know everything. ↗

— Julie James

#julie-james #romance #something-about-you #change

George,” said Fred, “I think we’ve outgrown full-time education.” “Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself,” said George lightly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#twins #weasley #education