#humor

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. ↗

Prospero the Enchanter's immediate reaction upon meeting his daughter is a simple declaration of: "Well, fuck. ↗

Low ceiling, stone walls, a dirt floor stamped with paw prints. I never go in without announcing myself. 'Hyaa!' I yell. 'Hyaa. Hyaa!' It's the sound my father makes when entering his toolshed, the cry of cowboys as they round up dogies, and it suggests a certain degree of authority. Snakes, bats, weasels --it's time to head up and move on out. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #scared #family

And we all know how ladies get minks . . .” Popsy and Sandra chorused the answer together. “The same way minks get minks! ↗

— Suzy Duffy

#family #humor #romance #family

A woman without a past is like a fruitcake without brandy—insipid!” Aunt Augusta in Aunt Dimity and the Family Tree. ↗

— Nancy Atherton.

#past #woman #family

In the same way that the stewards of the Titanic were more concerned about the unemptied ashtrays on the bar than the enormous hole in the side of the ship which was letting in zillions of gallons of water, I too was worrying about the unimportant and ignoring the vital. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#worrying #family

How reassuring." - Queen Elizabeth, when told during a walking tour of Scotland that she looks like the Queen ↗

— Kate Petrella

#family

A family of zombies just moved in next door. Their cooking smells terrible! ↗

— Roger Eschbacher

#family

If Arkansas is, indeed, one big family, Eureka Springs remains its eccentric uncle. ↗

— Rex Nelson

#humor #family

We goan start promptly at seven o'clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions before we get started. ↗