#humor

I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it. You know who else was kind of "divisive" in terms of challenging the status quo and the powers-that-be of his day? Jesus Christ. ↗

— Ann Coulter

#humor #politics #faith

I relaxed my grip. “Say I win.” “I win,” he managed. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fan #funny #humor #sleep #funny

I realized I was going to get through this disappointing service, and anyway, you have to be somewhere: better here, where I have heard truth spoken so often, than, say, at the DMV, or home alone, orbiting my own mind. And it's good to be out where others can see you, so you can't be your ghastly spoiled self. It forces you to act slightly more elegantly, and this improves your thoughts, and thereby the world. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#humor #religion #faith

Chicks before dicks, and all that. ↗

— Sylvia Day

#humor #friendship

The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology’s only credible conspiracy. ↗

— Bauvard

#celebrities #funny #humor #funny

Do go on,' he said. 'There's nothing I enjoy more than listening to a highly trained intelligence leapfrogging common sense and coming to the wrong conclusions. It gives me renewed faith in parliamentary democracy. ↗

— Tom Sharpe

#intelligence #faith

Wait, that’s your idea? That’s your expert advice? You’re going to tell these novelists to just keep going? You’re going to tell these honest, earnest writers: You gotta have faith? Those are George Michael lyrics, asshole. If they wanted that pep talk, they could just hang out inside a mall elevator. ↗

— Karen Russell

#humor #nanowrimo #pep-talk #writing #faith

You don't appreciate a faithful husband when you've got one,' said Tommy. 'All my friends tell me you never know with husbands,' said Tuppance. 'You have the wrong kind of friends,' said Tommy. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#faithfulness #friends #funny #humor #husband

Yeah, the whole family knows. It's no big deal. One night at dinner I said, 'Mom, you know the forbidden love that Spock has for Kirk? Well, me too.' It was easier for her to understand that way. ↗

— Holly Black

#humor #star-trek #tv-reference #family