#humor

Draco: Who's the girl? Bowen: A nuisance! Get rid of her! Draco: Why? Bowen: They're trying to placate you with a sacrifice! Draco: [knowingly] Oh, now whoever gave them *that* bright idea? Bowen: Never mind! Just get rid of her! Draco: How? Bowen: Eat her! Draco: Oh, please. YUCK! Bowen: Aren't we squeamish; you ate Sir Egglemore, hypocrite! Draco: I merely chewed in self-defense, but I never swallowed. ↗

— Dragonheart

#humor

If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract... -- Rhett ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour #romance

Whispering against her ear, he confessed, "When I'm really stressed out...I play with my toes." Gwen leaned back a bit and stared at him. "Seriously?" "It's really relaxing and very bearlike." And very weird. And yet..."I'm oddly comforted by this information. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor

riley: give me a romantic comedy any day. rhoan: your jest a girly-girl at heart, arent you? riley: takes one to know one, bro. ↗

— Keri Arthur

#humor #keri #masculinity #rhoan #riley

Your Majesty,” Durzo said gravely. “A man of your stature’s cursing vocabulary ought to extend beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears.” - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor

When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#boldness #humor #words #wordsmithing #humor

It was as if he grew his hair long and smoked cigarettes because he liked to, not because he liked being seen to. This was dangerously subversive. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#subversive #humor

Me: I think we should have sex again. Royce: Bad idea. Me: Why? Royce: I want more from you than sex. Me: Goodbye, you prudish bastard. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor

We love you Effie! ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor