#humor

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#heath #humor #humor

I would argue that coffee has been far more important to literature than alcohol. ↗

— Joseph Finder

#humor

I have seen what comes of being patient," Amanda said with a boding look. "And I have no opinion of it." "What does come of it?" Inquired Sir Gareth. "Nothing! ↗

— Georgette Heyer

#patience #humor

How did you know about my candy stash?” Vincent innocently shrugged. “I needed tape and stumbled across your Willy Wonka drawer ↗

— Victoria Michaels

#humor

There you are!” he shouted at them. “Father has half the castle turned out looking for you.” “Us?” Hadrian asked. “Yes.” Fanen nodded. “He wants to see the two thieves in his chambers right away.” “You didn’t steal the silver or anything, did you, Royce?” Hadrian asked. “I would bet it has more to do with your flirting with Lenare this afternoon and threatening Mauvin just to show off,” Royce retorted. “That was your fault,” Hadrian said, jabbing his finger at him. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#quotes #humor

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft. ↗

— Brent Weeks

#humor

Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon ↗

— John Corwin

#humor

I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #humor

After 30 years of marriage, isn’t it amazing when you look at your partner sound asleep next to you and think they've still got potential. ↗

— Kaylin McFarren

#humor #humor