#humor

Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. "Do you always hold your guitar like that?" I dropped my pick. "Do you always shop at Hot Topic? ↗

— Tara Kelly

#humor #music #musicians #funny

Most people in America think Art is a man's name. ↗

— Andy Warhol

#art

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,for you art crunchy and good with ketchup. ↗

— Anon

#humor #art

I'm going to do something bigger and better, bigger and better and bolder, but first, I'm going to do something smaller and worse. ↗

— JonArno Lawson

#poetry #thoughtful #humor

I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-" "Did you find that in the medicine cabinet?" Dylan asked. "Yeah." "It's for upset stomachs," Dylan said, trying to hide a smile. He pointed to the words on the box. "It's to reduce gas in you digestive system, not to create more gas to make explosions." Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said, "Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole box! ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #gas #humor #iggy-i-love-you #lol

Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with that martial arts dummy in the backyard lots of times, and you always win. Thanks, buddy. I’ll see you soon. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#humor #oberon #art

The Rusty Ruins were the remains of an old city, a hulking reminder of back when there'd been way too many people, and everyone was incredibly stupid. And ugly. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#humor #ruins #rusty #funny

I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before I can figure out what to make of his comment. A sense of humor is one more thing I don't think angels should have. The fact that his sense of humor is corny makes it even more wrong. ↗

— Susan Ee

#humor #witty #humor

Just assume that you don’t know anything – that’s a good place to start from in any situation. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

Seduction is the art of saying what you don't do in order to do what you don't say ↗

— Löis Lancaster

#seduction #art