#humor

Torture?” she asked with a laugh. “My first piece of information I’ll divulge to you? I wouldn’t recommend trying to torture me. I dislike it and grow sulky under pincers. It’s a fault. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humour #humor

Honey, that man would do anything to keep you. Lie, steal, cheat, kill, clean up after himself, and do laundry. ↗

— Alisa Sheckley

#humor #paranormal #humor

True love can blossom in unexpected places. This is Jaden pretending not to notice. ↗

— Katie Klein

#humor

What if two people want to be your partner, then what? ↗

— Emily Giffin

#humor #humor

The Postmodernists' tyranny wears people down by boredom and semi-literate prose. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#literature #postmodernism #humor

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#joe-morelli #morelli #stephanie-plum #death

English doesn’t borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar. ↗

— James Nicoll

#grammar #humor #humor

They're butterflies because...well, he thought it was cool. They eat humans." -idk..... ↗

— Katsura Hoshino

#canibals #cool #d-gray #humans #humor

Excuse my dust. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #humor

She knew that people often complained about having a 'bad hair day', but surely they did not wake up in the morning to find their Hair had eaten a whole box of chocolates while they were sleeping! ↗

— Nicholas Reardon

#humor #manga #reardon #ya #humor