#humor

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I'll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#humor #death

Someday I must read this scholar Everyone. He seems to have written so much--all of it wrong. -Daine ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #scholar #humor

Soap?" "School of America in Paris" he explains. "SOAP". Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor #humor

You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#mess #pigsty #humor

What year did Jesus think it was? ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #jesus-christ #religion #time #humor

I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win. ↗

— Louis-Ferdinand Céline

#politics #humor

I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing. ↗

— Edith Konecky

#humor

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#political #politics #humor

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. ↗

— Steven Wright

#irony #nobel-peace-prize #humor

You know how to shoot?"- Emma "Yes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert." - Heather "What happened to him?" -Shanna "He was...shot." -Heather ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#humor