#humor

Right at the flamingo orgy! Left at the multiethnic roof Santas! Straight past the pissing cherubs! ↗

— Ransom Riggs

#humor

Deambular no significa andar sin rumbo, sino andar con todos los rumbos. ↗

— Enrique de Hériz

#humor-inspirational #life #freedom

You and me-we've whored together. We've fought together.And I still dunna understand how ye always seems to know where the money is hidden and the liquor is stored and the scandals are richest.' It's a gift. ↗

— Christina Dodd

#gifts #humor #friendship

Friends are the support bras of life. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #friendship

College is so awesome! It's really too bad they try to ruin it with classes! ↗

— Jillian Dodd

#humor

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #truth #funny

Yeah, this is night Dudders. This is what we call it when it goes all dark like this! *Dudley goes bright red* I mean when you're in bed! Whatdya mean? Am I supposed to be scared of pillows or something? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #magic #funny

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#funny #humor #funny

Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #boundaries #cartographer #funny #humor

The silence protrudes like an engorged stomach, while I ponder the thought of trying to sit on my own lap. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #ponder #surreal #thought