#humor

Justin Biebuồi, the biggest, heaviest, ugliest fly ever ↗

— St. Xyzz XCancer

#life #life

Justin Biebuồi, the biggest, heaviest, ugliest fly ever. ↗

— St. Xyzz XCancer

#life #life

I am happy for the first in my life, I can report that I am standing on an incline instead of an edge. ↗

— Erica Goros

#life-humor #living-life-to-the-fullest #making-it #sanity #life

Everybody looks for a chance of attention. Nobody looks for a chance to be ignored. Why? Because being ignored really sucks. ↗

— The Wombat

#true-to-life #life

Predict the inevitable,” she said, “and you’re bound to be right one day. ↗

— Hugh Howey

#life-lessons #life

It is quite futile to argue that man is small compared to the cosmos; for man was always small compared to the nearest tree. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#philosophy-of-life #science #life

One boy has it particularly hard. I won't tell you his name. But I will tell you all about him. He has very nice brown hair, and he wears it long with a ponytail. I think he will regret this when he looks back on his life. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#life

Joy, humor, and laughter should be part of everyone's spiritual life. They are gifts from God and help us enjoy creation. ↗

— James Martin

#laughter #religion #spirituality #life

I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked. ↗

— David Sedaris

#political #food

Does it bother you when you see Daddy kissing Josh?” he asked. Ty shook his head and made a funny face. “No, not really. I guess you really like him a lot.” “I do,” Rex agreed. “I love Josh.” “I love Josh too, and so I don’t care if you kiss him. But I thought boys only kissed girls.” Rex nodded. “Yeah, well, that’s how it is most of the time, but you know some boys kiss other boys and some girls kiss other girls.” “Well, I don’t wanna kiss no girls!” Ty said emphatically. Rex and Josh both laughed. “Maybe someday you will, though. If you do, that’s fine, and if you don’t, that’s fine too. For right now, you can just kiss Daddy.” He leaned in and kissed Ty on the forehead. ↗

— Jeff Erno

#funny