#humor

My brain? That's my second favorite organ. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor

I've never stunned anyone except in our D.A. lessons," said Luna, sounding mildly interested. "That was noisier than I thought it would be. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #luna-lovegood #stun #death

Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #mortality #patience #death

My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#death

You fuck - you ate my cat! ↗

— Kendare Blake

#cats #death #ghosts #humor #death

Death should take me while I am in the mood. ↗

— Nathaniel Hawthorne

#humor #death

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies ↗

— Rick Riordan

#death #delaying #humor #leo #the-mark-of-athena

So. You get handed a holy sword by an archangel, told to go fight the forces of evil, and you somehow remain an atheist. Is that what you're saying? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #sanya #death

All those adorable towheaded kids in the promotional film are going to turn thirteen. Once a family member hits puberty, odds are that everybody is not going to have the same ideals. Unless everybody gets together and agrees that the new ideals involve turning the front yard into a skate ramp and officially changing Dad's name to Fuckhead. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#florida #humor #parenting #change

Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him. 'Mum! I can't give a professor love!' 'But you know Neville-' James rolled his eyes. 'Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love.... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#deathly-hallows #epilogue #harry-potter #hogwarts #humor