#humor

Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a bowling ball. With how bad I bowl, a rectangle ball couldn’t possibly hurt my score, because in bowling you can’t get a lower score than zero ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

People are right to worry about alcohol ruining the rest of their life, but with harder drugs they can afford to be more casual: regret is preceded by overdose. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #overdose #funny

Will you promise to keep this to yourself, to not tell anyone of what we are?” By his words you’d think he was giving me a choice. Like I could say,no deal, honey bunch, I’m off to shout your secret from the rooftops, and he’d be like, oh no please don’t do that. In reality, he’d have to kill me. ↗

— L.H. Cosway

#secrets #supernatural #funny

I’ve demanded of myself to be more demanding of others. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

B.R.I.C.K. could be the new acronym for a highway safety group. I’m not sure what words each letter would stand for, but overall I think it give a great allusion to objects/people flying through windshields.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as an option: either swallow the brick, or swallow your pride. Most people would probably rather swallow the brick. If you give me a tall glass of orange juice, I’ll swallow two bricks at a time.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a shield, if you’re being attacked by Lilliputians with lollipops.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be substituted in for Kansas as a US state, because they’re roughly the same shape, they have the same topography, and I just found Topeka without the aid of a microscope.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Dear Literary World, Sorry for breaking down your door...I'll pay for that!!! Since I'm here and planning to stay a while, let me tell you some stories!! ↗

— C.K. Webb

#ck-webb #funny #humor #literature #stories