#humor

Everyone must work hard to imitate excellence. If we can’t afford a better house than our neighbors, we should at least afford a better spouse. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Writing metered verse is like working in drywall construction: stilted. Writing free verse is like having a heart attack: flat lining. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #poetry #funny

The test of someone’s authenticity is to wait until they think you’re not looking, then check the tag under their collar. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

Nature abhors a vacuum. She is mostly made of dirt, after all. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #nature #void #funny

To behold something more than life, one must scoop out the eye of plausibility with a spoon. Join the born fakes of surrealism eating the cornflakes of cerealism. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #surrealism #funny

I am oblivious to the obvious – it is such a vulgar way to characterize things. I have too much subtlety to notice anything beneath my dignity. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #obliviousness #obviousness #vulgarity

I don't like cruel jokes - I've worn myself out laughing at the world. It has made me too self-deprecating to laugh at myself. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #laughter #self-deprecation #funny

Blackouts can be fun if approached with the right mindset. You just can't sweat the fact that you've lost a small portion of your life for all eternity. Occasionally, little bubbles of memory will float up like surreal Mylar party balloons at unexpected times throughout the net day and start piecing together a colorful, if incomplete, version of reality. ↗

— Josh Kilmer-Purcell

#alcoholism #blackout #drugs #funny #humor

A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost all their money when the company goes under. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #finance #funny