#humor

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#life-and-living #love #relationship #romantic #humor

Raw toast," Lucas said grimly, shaking his head. "It goes against the very nature of man. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#toast #humor

Stashia: I don't know what I'd do without you Finn: You'd probably have a broken leg ↗

— Kristen Day

#humor

I picked out Nathan and James standing next to each other and wiggled in between them. "Dude we got lucky, threesome." James whispered over my head to Nathan. "Puh-leez..." I muttered and rolled my eyes. Nathan shushed us both. ↗

— Bella Shadow

#humor #humor

Samuel didn't move. 'What will you do it I climb off the bed?' 'Well I can eat you, or I can drag you down to the depths of Hell, never to seen or heard from again. Depends, really.' 'On what?' 'Lost of things: hygiene, for a start. After tasting that sock, I don't fancy eating any part of you, to be honest, so it'll have to be the depths of Hell for you, I'm afraid. ↗

— John Connolly

#humor

One of my book-reading friends used the term "our story unfolds" when describing a paper he was writing. He became somewhat less of a friend right at that moment. ↗

— Tommy Greenwald

#humor

His lips look like two worms fucking. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him. 'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#sarcasm #humor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. ↗

— Emperor Charles V

#humorous-quotes #languages #humor

I have a theory about pink pastry boxes. So much joy comes from those boxes. When someone walks into a room with a pink pastry box, joy immediately fills the room. World peace? Three words. Pink pastry box. I get a big cup of coffee and finalize my plans for world domination. ↗

— Liza Palmer

#humor