#toast

Toast was a pointless invention from the Dark Ages. Toast was an implement of torture that caused all those subjected to it to regurgitate in verbal form the sins and crimes of their past lives. Toast was a ritual item devoured by fetishists in the belief that it would enhance their kinetic and sexual powers. Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#age

In any case, muffins that are only imaginary aren't liable to get stuck. ↗

— Thomas M. Disch

#childrens #food #toaster #food

Here's champagne for our real friends, and real pain for our sham friends. ↗

— Mardy Grothe

#chiasmus #friendship #toasts #friendship

Friendship is the best kind of ship. ↗

— Jennifer Lane

#na #navy #ship #toast #friendship

So, without saying anything to the others, it made its way to the farthest corner of the meadow and began to toast an imaginary muffin. That was always the best way to unwind when things got to be too much for it. ↗

— Thomas M. Disch

#cute #life #toaster #life

To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#love

Hear, hear.' Sister Martha hoisted her water glass. 'Let the rigid stick of self-righteousness be dislodged from her very uptight ass.' Father Ramon coughed. 'A-fucking-men,' Loup supplied helpfully. ↗

— Jacqueline Carey

#convent #dystopian #orphanage #toast #men

Askade took the battertoast, looked at it blearily. "I can't rewire it into a death ray without some extra parts," he said, and took a bite. "Hm. Tastes okay. What's the problem? ↗

— John M. Ford

#humor #toast #death

When the girl returned, some hours later, she carried a tray, with a cup of fragrant tea steaming on it; and a plate piled up with very hot buttered toast, cut thick, very brown on both sides, with the butter running through the holes in great golden drops, like honey from the honeycomb. The smell of that buttered toast simply talked to Toad, and with no uncertain voice; talked of warm kitchens, of breakfasts on bright frosty mornings, of cosy parlour firesides on winter evenings, when one's ramble was over and slippered feet were propped on the fender, of the purring of contented cats, and the twitter of sleepy canaries. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#coziness #meals #tea #toast #twitter

Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster. ↗

— Ann Coulter

#age #appropriately #because #conservative #either