#humor

They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it’s free, has no bad side effects and is available to EVERYONE. ↗

— Mindy Levy

#humor #laughter #funny

Unless you're fucking me, don't put your hands on me. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#humor #zombie #funny

Let love find you. Don’t go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, “Have lube, will travel. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #surreal #age

A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Everyone must work hard to imitate excellence. If we can’t afford a better house than our neighbors, we should at least afford a better spouse. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Writing metered verse is like working in drywall construction: stilted. Writing free verse is like having a heart attack: flat lining. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #poetry #funny

The test of someone’s authenticity is to wait until they think you’re not looking, then check the tag under their collar. ↗

— Bauvard

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

Nature abhors a vacuum. She is mostly made of dirt, after all. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #nature #void #funny

To behold something more than life, one must scoop out the eye of plausibility with a spoon. Join the born fakes of surrealism eating the cornflakes of cerealism. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #surrealism #funny