#humor

I commend my soul to any god that can find it. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#moist-von-lipwig #humor

Is it really you this time, Kells?” “Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.” He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#humor

Can you define "plan" as "a loose sequence of manifestly inadequate observations and conjectures, held together by panic, indecision, and ignorance"? If so, it was a very good plan. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#plan #strategy #humor

Anyone who knew the word slattern was worth cultivating as a friend. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#humor #vocabulary #friendship

Fortunately, we did most of our athletic stuff inside, so we didn't have to jog through Tribeca looking like a bunch of boot-camp hippie children. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Roger, he has a chain saw," I hissed. "I am not going to die in Kentucky! ↗

— Morgan Matson

#humor #humor

I'd rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#humor

Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight. ↗

— Yogi Berra

#pie #humor

have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor