#humor

Emang, batas antara genius dan gila cuma setipis kertas! ↗

— Windhy Puspitadewi

#humor

Severe isn't a word normally associated with a cold. Severe is for weather or third-degree burns...No one responds 'severe' when someone asks how her cold is. In fact, nine out of ten Americans respond to 'How's your cold' with 'It sucks.' So there should be an It Sucks cold formula. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#illness #humor

- My little brother craps himself." I laughed. "- Well, maybe it's because he's, like, only one?" "- Whatever, it's still gross. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, still breathing hard. “You’re quite sure of that, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, with a touch more defiance. “This is the copy of Advanced Potion-Making that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?” “Yes,” said Harry firmly. “Then why,” asked Snape, “does it have the name ‘Roonil Wazlib’ written inside the front cover?” Harry’s heart missed a beat. “That’s my nickname,” he said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #potions #ron-weasley #severus-snape #humor

And I remind you of your mother now? I have got to look into a manlier cologne. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humorous #jace #humor

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

People usually asked her if she had a belly button. Of course she had a belly button. She couldn't explain how. She didn't really want to know. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bellybutton #humor #humor

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house. ↗

— Justin Halpern

#humor

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?" "Like what?" "Like hitting on you." "Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way." Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee. "What? You think he does?" "Sometimes he looks at you a little... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood." "Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?" "Not enough coffee. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass #morganville-vampires

Ayame: "Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!" Yuki: "Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake." Ayame: "As long as we spend time together." Yuki: "On second thought, go drown yourself. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#fruits-basket #humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #yuki